And it begins...

And so it begins.  Once upon a time I wanted to be an author, but had no material. Story of everyone's life, right? Then I married a cop with kids, and eventually we had two of our own. And while my older children will avoid landing in this blog for the most part, the five children have given me enough material to rival War and Peace, minus the actual literary content of Tolstoy. My friends have followed my kids exploits on Facebook in snippet form. And at the request of many, and the prodding of my one brave blogger friend Brittani, I am embarking on the blog journey.

So as an introduction for anyone joining us now, liberal meets and marries conservative and takes on his three amazing kids.  Encouraged by the family fun she decides they can handle one, yes ONE more.  After two years of fertility treatments along comes Gavin.  But the doctor fails to mention that post childbirth people are extremely fertile. Extremely. Like sneeze in my vicinity and apparently I'm pregnant. So 22 months later along came Gabe, into a family where two parents work full time, nobody sleeps anymore, and somehow we still couldn't be happier to be overrun with babies. Most of the time.

And did I mention the age gap in kids? Because our oldest is now 26 and the youngest is three. Which has resulted in two grandchildren right around the age of my five and three year olds. A lesser woman would be upset by this. A lesser woman probably would have wept and cleaned obsessively while shoveling pastry type deliciousness into her mouth carrying a newborn in a sling the whole time... But I'm a hip grandma. So, after the weeping and subsequent cleaning OF the newborn who somehow got showered in pastry crumbs in his sling, I had an even closer bond with my daughter who I was able to give recent first hand knowledge of pregnancy and then field questions by phone about newborn problems. 

As a result of the age differences my girls, my two estrogen compatriots, left right around the time each boy was born. Believe me, with teenage girls at home I wept tears of joy when I saw penises on the ultrasound. But I was unaware of the difference in boys and girls as toddlers. So I was left alone, the sole female in what I have now dubbed the Casa de Testosterone, with the cop, and three boys.

In the time it took to prepare just this blog one kid has pulled a plastic knife on me, a coffee table has mysteriously overturned and been filled with couch cushions to "dive" into off of high pieces of furniture, two time outs have been ordered and one child has discovered the alarm wasn't set and escaped. I'm considering it a win since the knife was plastic and no children or furniture actually broke. I am however, going to sign off to chase the escapee, since he is naked as a jay bird running down the driveway.  More on the resolution of this drama next time....