When Mom's Away, the Boys Will...
Hola again, Wild Boy friends and family! Welcome back to another thrilling week in la Casa de Testosterone. This week found me absent from la Casa. That's right, this week I was the parent that had training for work and had to leave the cop and wild boys alone, on what would prove to be the busiest week of the month of course. I had a training manager's seminar in Monterey, and the cop had work, the boys, the pets, soccer, scouts, a field trip, a school carnival and an awards assembly.
You all think I'm awful, right? I felt awful, believe me. No, for real, I was raised Catholic so the guilt that an eight year old can instill when he gives you sad cartoon animal eyes and says something like "but...you ALWAYS go on my field trips with me..." with a little super sentimental lip quiver thrown in is almost enough to make me quit my job. Almost. Then I remember things like the mortgage, and my inability to spend a full day with both boys without actively seeking gypsies to buy them and I rethink that whole stay at home thing. I know it works for some of you. Props. I'd be the wolf that ate their young. I know that, and employ wonderful people to fill in the gaps. Props to me.
Anyhow, I stressed like a mother (that works two ways, and I'm chuckling just typing it) prepping for this week away. I'm super OCD, and we have a schedule that doesn't budge by a damn minute every morning. I offered about nine times to write down said schedule for the cop. He snort laughed at me and rolled his eyes.
Me: "Are you sure? Because if you miss the dog's pills she'll be all rashy..."
Cop: "No. No list."
Me: "Maybe just a reminder of the animal feeding schedule?"
Cop: "NO LIST."
Me: "What if I just leave you a list of the snacks for lunches and after school/pre-soccer..."
Cop: "Don't you need to leave? Like, now?"
So I left the household in his capable hands. I knew they'd be fine, but deep in my heart of hearts I also knew that by the end of this week without me the cop would have a whole new appreciation of my contributions here. In the deep recesses of my mind I worried a little bit about coming home to a dog covered in hives living on a feast of junk food left in piles by the wild boys, who have never picked up a thing in their entire lives.
Let me tell you what happened: nothing. Not a damn thing. People, he freaking nailed it. They made it to school and work every day. They made every practice. They made it to a scout carnival with cake auction that the cop had to organize, they made it to the school carnival, and he remembered to send a paper sack lunch on field trip day. He even remembered to send me cute photos from throughout the week of the dog missing me, the kids in costumes at the carnival, Gavin getting an award at school. And the icing on the proverbial cake?
He managed to finish one of the Pinterest projects I told him I'd love for a fall decoration.
I came back to him and the other dads, one of whom also went without mom this week, chilling at the school carnival laughing about how my week of classes involved me learning to "be a tree" and practice deep breathing techniques. He's a step away from knuckle bump status with the damn principal, people! IN A WEEK!!!!! The school drop off line monitor who has for the last five years scowled at my stopping with my bumper touching the cross walk line and yelled at me for dropping my kids in the "wait to unload" area, friend requested the cop on Facebook after four days. I'm not even kidding. He's a damn rock star.
And the house was clean.
I guess the one thing we can take from this week is that I'm really only necessary around here to yell things like "PUT ON SOME UNDERWEAR!" and "OH MY GOD DON'T CLIMB THERE!" This is actually fantastic, because it allows me a little extra time to practice that "being a tree" thing which I kind of sucked at in training.
Until next time, if you need anything call the cop. He's running this show!
You all think I'm awful, right? I felt awful, believe me. No, for real, I was raised Catholic so the guilt that an eight year old can instill when he gives you sad cartoon animal eyes and says something like "but...you ALWAYS go on my field trips with me..." with a little super sentimental lip quiver thrown in is almost enough to make me quit my job. Almost. Then I remember things like the mortgage, and my inability to spend a full day with both boys without actively seeking gypsies to buy them and I rethink that whole stay at home thing. I know it works for some of you. Props. I'd be the wolf that ate their young. I know that, and employ wonderful people to fill in the gaps. Props to me.
Anyhow, I stressed like a mother (that works two ways, and I'm chuckling just typing it) prepping for this week away. I'm super OCD, and we have a schedule that doesn't budge by a damn minute every morning. I offered about nine times to write down said schedule for the cop. He snort laughed at me and rolled his eyes.
Me: "Are you sure? Because if you miss the dog's pills she'll be all rashy..."
Cop: "No. No list."
Me: "Maybe just a reminder of the animal feeding schedule?"
Cop: "NO LIST."
Me: "What if I just leave you a list of the snacks for lunches and after school/pre-soccer..."
Cop: "Don't you need to leave? Like, now?"
So I left the household in his capable hands. I knew they'd be fine, but deep in my heart of hearts I also knew that by the end of this week without me the cop would have a whole new appreciation of my contributions here. In the deep recesses of my mind I worried a little bit about coming home to a dog covered in hives living on a feast of junk food left in piles by the wild boys, who have never picked up a thing in their entire lives.
Let me tell you what happened: nothing. Not a damn thing. People, he freaking nailed it. They made it to school and work every day. They made every practice. They made it to a scout carnival with cake auction that the cop had to organize, they made it to the school carnival, and he remembered to send a paper sack lunch on field trip day. He even remembered to send me cute photos from throughout the week of the dog missing me, the kids in costumes at the carnival, Gavin getting an award at school. And the icing on the proverbial cake?
He managed to finish one of the Pinterest projects I told him I'd love for a fall decoration.
I came back to him and the other dads, one of whom also went without mom this week, chilling at the school carnival laughing about how my week of classes involved me learning to "be a tree" and practice deep breathing techniques. He's a step away from knuckle bump status with the damn principal, people! IN A WEEK!!!!! The school drop off line monitor who has for the last five years scowled at my stopping with my bumper touching the cross walk line and yelled at me for dropping my kids in the "wait to unload" area, friend requested the cop on Facebook after four days. I'm not even kidding. He's a damn rock star.
And the house was clean.
I guess the one thing we can take from this week is that I'm really only necessary around here to yell things like "PUT ON SOME UNDERWEAR!" and "OH MY GOD DON'T CLIMB THERE!" This is actually fantastic, because it allows me a little extra time to practice that "being a tree" thing which I kind of sucked at in training.
Until next time, if you need anything call the cop. He's running this show!
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