Mothering Mayhem: Life with the Wild Boys

Hola Wild Boy followers, and a VERY happy weekend from La Casa de Testosterone! We here in la casa have taken today as a very much needed day of rest.  This week was a particularly brutal one involving the cop on day shift patrol, open house for the wild boys, boy scouts, a baseball practice and two baseball games, and a partridge in a pear tree. No, no partridge. If there was a partridge it would only survive off the fruit of the pear tree itself because I cannot possibly keep up with remembering to feed any more dependents here (and partly because birds scare the crap out of me...ask me sometime about getting attacked by a killer parrot that continuously yelled F*** YOU while pecking my ankle as I tried to pick a lock to get a felon that was hiding from my team...But I digress...) Anyhow, day of rest. It's not super easy to come by, by any stretch, because as tired as the cop and I may be the wild boys have the energy and destructive force of Tasmanian devils.  It takes ...

Hola friends, and welcome to another harrowing tale of surviving mothering the Wild Boys. This week finds us all SO READY for summer vacation.  I'm not sure how the teachers at the elementary school are surviving, because my kids mentally signed out about ten days ago.  It wasn't even warm enough for shorts, but when they realized there was less than a month left they went cerebrally surfer.  They've been forcing the issue, wearing flip flops and shorts without anything else despite the sixty degree temperature.  It's that kind of sacrifice and dedication that gives them wicked tan lines while I sit in a dark corner glowing in all my albino glory.  They are forced to wear real shoes and shirts to school which only magnifies their resentment, and means my car looks like small hobos may live in it because they manage to pop out as it's still moving in the driveway half naked to play outside leaving everything that made them respectable (you know, like shoes and sh...

Good morning and happy Mother's Day from la Casa de Testosterone! So, I'm solo parenting today as the cop is covering a patrol shift. Upon last check he was sitting in the emergency room waiting for mental health to come and assess someone who currently makes me look like the picture of sanity. I'm pretty sure this is a blessing, because lately the cop has looked at me like I'm only 20 cats short of living up to my full crazy potential, and yesterday I got offered some kittens... Also, during my conversation with him his somewhat disturbed client did tell me happy Mother's Day. So I got that going for me, which is nice. It's pretty early here, but we're off to a roaring good start to the day. I slept in until almost eight, and when I woke up the wild boys explained that the blood stains on Gabe's sweatshirt were old, so aside from having that laundry to look forward to we're going to call it a win.  They then showered me with homemade gifts from ...

Hola Wild Boy followers! Here I am, signing in a week later. Look at me, nailing this responsibility thing! Yay me! OK, truth...the cop is working a graveyard this evening and I'm supposed to be cleaning, finishing laundry and packing for training away from my wild boys. Aaaaand I'm procrastinating a smidge. See, the cop keeps me slightly more focused when he's around. Usually it's with super casual little nudges like "what are you DOING?" as I wander through our home holding one baseball cleat, the dog's allergy pills and a bag of carrots.  But he's gone, so the laundry is halfway done, I've got a list of things left to do, and I'm taking a minute to sit. The wild boys, however, are indifferent to my need to get things done.  I feel like Sisyphus. You know, from Greek mythology? Yes...I AM that nerdy. But follow along here...Sisyphus was punished by having to push a boulder up a hill for eternity, and every time it got to the top it would ...