Mothering Mayhem: Life with the Wild Boys

For everyone who thought the title implied pregnancy, you are sick individuals who are officially off the Christmas card list. Seriously, have you read ANY of the previous blogs? I employ about six different kinds of birth control just to prevent that kind of thing from happening, and your bad juju just thinking it and giggling is not appreciated. Rather, the familia was recently expanded with the addition of pets.  For about six months now Gabe has been telling random strangers everywhere we go that "we don't have any pets, just our friend dog Ruby."  And this is true.  Our lovely neighbor, Shirley, has a boxer named Ruby.  Shirley is a retired grandma of about a million grandkids, none of whom live within a several hour radius, and enjoys time with my boys.  This may be a sign of the onset of dementia.  Whenever she says they can come over I check to see if she's wearing her underwear on the outside, or has been styling her hair with glue or someth...

That's right, outbreak. Remember that movie? The movie where a monkey bites someone, and that someone sneezes in a movie thater or somewhere equally crowded and accessible to all of us watching (and suddenly very nervous), and just like that a plague of epic proportions threatens to destroy all mankind? Welcome to fall and winter, ladies and gentlemen.  Most of you have kids, or have been around mine, and realize that with the end of summer comes the return of perpetual illness in the casa. And this year has proven no exception, and it's only the beginning of November.  This is my way of an apology, for the huge lapse in blogging type fun (oh you loyal four readers, how I have surely disappointed you).  And as a means of explanation, a glimpse into the casa when the first bug strikes. Imagine yourself off on a Tuesday as a fluke of nature and holiday weirdness, deciding to accompany your children to the pumpkin patch on a daycare field trip.  When you arrive you ...